Author Reflections on Clearing, Purging, Releasing & Forgiving
Excerpt from the April 2021 Newsletter
What a wild past 2 weeks!
I don’t know about you but the past couple weeks have been an unexpectedly wild ride (that full moon in Libra though lol!) with a very prevalent theme:
Clearing. Purging. Releasing. Forgiving.
Literally in all areas of my life—emotionally, energetically, physically.
I finally started that diet I’d intended to start back in January with the new year and shed 6.5 pounds so far—yay!
The flare up of an old injury that had resurfaced since last November finally made giant healing strides. Hallelujah! I was finally able to go to the beach for the first time since this injury circled back around. (PS: Where’s body healer extraordinaire Aleia when you need her?).
And because of this and not being in constant pain (side note on pain: Isn’t it a funny/strange thing when the pain “moves” in the body? I take it as a sign of healing in my body, so I welcomed it), I was finally able to clean my apartment *and* even cleared out the shower drain that had been flowing slowly because of my hair. Oh, the not so glorious side of long hair—who can relate? Lol!
Another thing on the physical side of things is my skin. Boy has my skin been breaking out and talking to me like crazy! So, I invested in a couple new skincare products and have been trying out a new routine (Hello, acid peels and Retin A with a resulting skin “purge” lol!). Again, it’s only been like two weeks, but I swear I can already see and feel a difference! And if the angry acne breakouts weren’t enough, I’ve had a couple “random” appearances of hives—very small, nothing crazy uncomfortable or anything (Benadryl gel to the rescue! ;) ).
***Edited To Add: Wow! After I wrote up this newsletter, I’m now back in here to add another thing that came outta left field. For the first time in my adult life (and in my memory as I don’t remember if this happened when I was young), I have an ear infection. It is seriously painful as all hell and the infection was progressively getting worse (and kinda quickly) so I went to urgent care yesterday afternoon (PS: I totally would’ve gone sooner if I knew it was an infection! I thought it was just a painful pimple and would naturally run its course—see above about the acne thing lol). Turns out, the reason I couldn’t hear anything (or that everything was seriously muffled) was because the ear canal was so inflamed that it was swollen shut. No wonder the pain is like next level lol! Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled programming. ;) ***
And then on the emotional front... Well, let’s just say it’s been *emotional* Lol! Seriously though. In my personal life, I’ve reconnected with my mindfulness/spiritual practice and have been diving deep into releasing meditations—releasing old “wounds”, patterns, self-limiting beliefs, fears, and unhealthy/unhelpful emotional attachments to people, places, things. (Can someone say Hoʻoponopono? PS: Feel free to Google this practice of releasing/forgiveness. Highly recommend and there’s probably a zillion articles/YouTube videos to guide you through the process if you feel called.)
And finally on the writing front—because that’s kinda why you’re here lol!
Releasing expectations. Let me repeat that: Releasing expectations.
Writing book four has been a wild, emotional journey! Not only because of the storyline itself but also because I’m still learning and growing as an author and still discovering my style and groove so to speak.
Story things aside (#nospoilers ;) ), lately, I’ve been gently reminding myself to release expectations and let go of how I thought it should/would go. Like how I “should” write everyday and how many words I “should” write per writing session. PS: Some days I don’t write at all because I’m just not feeling it—you can’t force creativity!—and when I do write, sometimes I write less than 500 words and sometimes I write 4+ thousand. (Oh, how I love these days so very much! I also kind of have a writing hangover afterward too lol!) Really, it just depends on if the words and creativity is “flowing” that day.
And on the note of word count, I’ve been shedding the worries and fears that have been coming up around this book with things like it “being too long” and if I “should use a different word because, wait, didn’t I just use that word in the paragraph before?” Instead, I’ve just been writing—writing it all, anything and everything, and then once the first draft is done, I can begin the fine tuning (editing) process and smooth whatever needs smoothing.
I also have been letting go of the expectation of how I thought the storyline would go. By book four, I’ve “seen” so many scenes that I already kinda knew a lot of what was going down and I feel it’s my job to rearrange and put the scenes together in a cohesive order. But of course, I have *not* seen everything—by far. So, I’ve been learning to relax a bit as I let the story that wants to be written, be written! It’s how all the other books in the series were written after all. So, who am I to attempt to put my human mind around the creativity that wishes to flow through and in a certain way?
Like today—well, technically, yesterday as it’s 3:17 am at the moment. (Yes, a very very common time for me to wake up from sleep and jot down words!), what I thought would be one chapter is now three (lol!) and I wrote a scene that I hadn’t seen before. It was unexpected and yet naturally flowed from my brain to the paper and, well, this is hard to say because it’s literally impossible for me to choose, but I think it might be one of my favorite scenes of the book. I won’t give any spoilers but the growth and development with the character was so touching to me that it really hit somewhere deep and I totally cried.
Okay, I’ve shed many a tear while I write these stories (and welcome it because, to me, it’s such a beautiful thing to be so emotionally connected to the characters who’ve nestled their way into my heart) and foresee myself continuing to shed more as I continue to write. But this scene... yeah, no spoilers, but it landed somewhere deep. Then again, there are many scenes in this book that really reached into the depth of my heart and soul. And maybe that’s why it’s been such an emotional journey to write this story.
So, one final thing to add to this releasing recount: Saying goodbye to the fears and negative thoughts that’s been circling around in my head, taking up precious space, and rapidly multiplying over time.
Fears and negative thoughts about the stories (all of them—books 1 through 4 and even those yet to be written.) Fears and negative thoughts about my writing. Fears and negative thoughts about what the hell I’m doing with my life with writing stories (lol!). So, I got real with all of it. Faced each of those thoughts head on. Called BS on their lies. Said buh-bye to them. And then chose to think new thoughts, positive thoughts, uplifting thoughts that reinvigorate and reignite.
PS: This isn’t a “one and done” type of thing. As Dr. Keena Oliver, expert mind and spirit healer, reminds me: healing is circular and cyclical. So, those fears and negative thoughts may come up again and each time I have the choice to identify them, call BS on their lies, and decide to think the new, positive thoughts.
And now I’m reminded of words of a total badass mystic philosopher and source of inspiration and wisdom:
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”― Lao Tzu
*bows head respectfully*
Okay... Whew! This newsletter is kinda long lol! Who’s really surprised though? ;) I mean, it’s me, M.C. Solaris, author of massively epic love stories filled with all sorts of gems of healing/relationship/life lessons… and of course, sexy shifters, hot vampires, and intriguing immortals!
By the way, I’m sharing all of this with you because I hope my healing journey helps you in some way…
Gives you permission and courage to release, purge, let go, clear, and cut ties.
Gives you strength to keep going and be the light in the darkness.
Gives you inspiration to reconnect back with yourself and your dreams and desires.
And helps to reignite your passions!
Happiest of spring to us all and here’s to shedding what’s no longer serving us, waking up from the healing slumber of winter, and emerging into the light renewed and revitalized!
I send so so so sooo much love to you, fellow romance reader and lover of, well, LOVE!
XO
M.C. Solaris
❤️Author of massively epic love stories
🧜♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes
✨Healing thru storytelling
✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order
https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor